Hello Kwanjai.
Good morning Kwanjai.
Diarrhea maybe?
Are you feeling troubled, Kwanjai?
Thida, how did you know?
Because you didn't sleep still, sighed time to time with a frown face.
You make it obvious that you are bothered and distracted. It doesn't take an astrologist to read you.
Ho-Langsat?( Ipani fruits) What is the connection with fruit? (Ho-lasart = astrology)
That is Langsat similar to Long Kong. ( Lansium domesticum Corr.) I talking about Ho-Lasart =Astrogoly! You better go back to school to learn Thai again.
Ho-Lasart! / Astrology!
What are you trying to do?
I will help.
Have you ever been interested in making garland?
Here! I'm learning now.
Serves you right. Karma caught up to your lie.
Okay, I give up.
What is it?
Thida! You said that my soul mate live in the next door
Can't you forsee which room it is exactly?
Kwanjai! Please lift up you hands.
Now.. have a look at my hands.
I have two hands like you, I am human not God. How can I know what will happen or how it will happen?
And that omen has only told me that much detail.
We know that Joe has always been like that.
As for Khun Vee, you just met him a week ago. Do you want to look into their hearts and marry one of them instantly?
Don't you remember the past?
Normally you predicted quite accurately but this time it seems to be impossible.
If you don't believe in astrology science, I have the other method that can help determine.
What?
I am so bored when you are like this!
Alright?
Here!
Handbook of teaching women. It is my ancestor heritage at Pranakorn Sri Ayutthaya.
This handbook is about...
The 5 จ (Thai alphabet letter pronounciation is "joh") principles of choosing someone who we will love.
The 5 Joh?
Yes.
The 5 Joh are ways we get to know if someone you are interested in also feel the same as you? Or if he has his heart for you?
-What are they? I am interested in. -First Joh...
Jing Jang = solemnity
Solemnity.
Second Joh.. Jujome = attack (one who takes action or take lead)
Third Joh..Jaak Jup = will kiss
Forth Joh..Jong Jok = be capable for holding hand, have a capacity for, to contain
Do you understand? After Jong Jok, the most important one is...
Jap = Touch!
Thida! Do I have to do that much?
Of course!
Kidding.
Thida...
Very strong! You hit me very strong!
I am just kidding. Who do you think I am?
Looks like...
Look gook, right?
In fact 5 Joh have the real principals. Do you want to know? 5 Joh for choosing someone you will love.
First Joh " 1st Operation " - take interest in
To chose someone to be our other half...
we must know how much he is interested in you.
How much he pay attention in your change? How much he pay attention about your small details?
That is the first Joh. "Joh.. one's interest"
Come here!
What is it?
Changing yourself
If you want to know if that someone is interested in you or not...
Try to change your hair style.
Suppose that someone recognized you and come to ask you if you changed your hair style..
Whoever he is, Joe or Khun Vee.. It means that he pays attention to your changes.
Will it be OK?
Wear it!
So strange like this, there will be nobody to take interest of me.
Strange.. indeed!
Thida, I miss my mom. Mommy I miss you!
Oh my! Glad to see you again.
Nice to meet you too.
You look like your mum.
- Kwanjai. - I'm not coming out.
Come out. Hurry now.
No, don't want to. I don't like it.
Beautiful! Believe me... Really! Come out!
No way!
Hurry so I can see.
Thida...
This style is OK. Not too much and not too little. It's very proper.
Let's go.
Oh. Good morning Khun Thida.
Yes.
Excuse me.
Ton...
-Oh! Thida.. Come one. I have something to discuss with you. -Just say it...
Just say it..
What's the initial to that person?
Oh! I can't tell you.
But really, [she] will seize boyfriend.
What?
Sawatdee/Hello.
Let's continue our conversation! What? What?
Poh Pla.. (Thai alphabet)
Who is your Poh Pla?
I can't but.. she seized other people's boyfriend around...
What? I already said hello to her.
What's your name?
Continue. Go on.
Poh Pla.. and Koh Kai..(Thai alphabet), who studied in England before.
- I can't tell you. I can only give out her initial.. - What does this mean?
What's the matter with you?
Did you scold me that I have no brain?
Do you think that a new friend is better than an old one?
You know that I don't like to be friends with beautiful woman except Kwanjai.
Excuse me! I am not accepting any new friends.
Water finished!
Do you want something else?
Green drink!
I should throw you away!
It's okay, it's okay.
Anyhow Nang Ton Kao is not our target.
I believe the target is that person over there.
Not enough! They come a lot. There are only 2 sticks left.
So why do we have to share then? Just finish eating them.
5 Bahts! Silly!
Oh! Thida.. Hello!
Hello!
I...
I live in room 601 if you feel tired, you can come to sleep.
And for me I live in room 606. You can come when you get up, OK?
My name is Joe. What's yours?
Oh! Don't be angry! My friend is lesbian. Don't bother with her.
Are you a lesbian? Oh! I thought that you are my rival. What are you talking about?
- Sawatdee krap everyone. - Sawatdee Khun Vee.
What happened with you? Khun Kwanjai. Your face looks upset.
Kwanjai?
Of course it's me Kwanjai.
Just wearing a wig like this and you can't even recognize me. Are you even my friends?
The style before is quite cool, right?
Cut it then.
You don't need to speak Joe.
I think this wig style is cute but anyhow I prefer Khun Kwanjai's old hair style.
Excuse me, Khun Thida!
Actually I know that Khun Thida never did anything against the rule of this condo.
According to our regulation. We forbid outsider to come inside without changing the card.
Yes, I know!
I forgot. She went back already.
Never mind. Next time, OK?
Can't be recognized at all?
You may look very different or something like that.
Never mind. Can do it next time. Let's start the next Joh operation then. I guarantee that you will not be disappointed.
Next 5 Joh is.. 2nd Oparation - Sabai Jai = Feeling comfort
When we are with somebody, we can feel who will make us feel comfortable.
Feel comfortable? But now I feel comfortable!
Are you sure that you feel comfortable?
That might be good if we don't count the matter that you was left by your husband and asked me to foretell you everyday.
That who is he? Who is he? That is quite sad, right?
You went to casting how many time... Did they ever contact you back?
Never passed at all. Also there's something you've been worrying about lately and trying to hide it from me, but I know about it.
You're in debt. The credit cards that you took from your rich Dubai petroleum parents.
You just swipe and swipe. How much are you in debt now?
Where will you have money to pay back? I think you should transfer your assets to other people so when bank come to seize your assets then you still have something left.
I really mean that. People the same age as you and me, who will be a widow as fast as you. Have you ever been concerned about that?
You are beautiful yet you were abandoned by your fiance. I also feel sorry for you. Do you understand?
Why is your life so depressing?
I think to die and then reborn as frog or green frog can live better than you.
It's useless to be beautiful. So terrible!
I say frankly if committing suicide has no sin, I would suggest you then.
Dear girl! Young widow!
You can transfer your assets to me if you decide on it.
Khun Vee? Kwanjai has encountered a problem.
Khun Vee, can you come over?
Moment, please.
Khun Vee, Kwanjai is having a very difficult time.
I don't know what to do.
Khun Kwanjai, what happened?
Oh! Right this is surely...
Retina gets affected so the signal of pictures you see sending to brain slower.
In more serious case can cause blindness and die, Khun Kwanjai!
But don't be frighten yet! Because nowadays the medical equipment is modern enough.
I think we better go to have operation then.
The longer time it is the more dangerous.
Kwanjai is only...
feel that I have too much in debt with credit card.
That's all.
Only about credit card?
How much are you in debt?
Oh! Did you down payment the house with credit card?
This is a big matter!
Do you have to sell this place to pay back credit?
What should we do?
Sell this place? Khun Vee! It makes me have more stress.
How much are you in debt? Khun Kwanjai.
I'll go back to my room to take paracetamol, OK?
But I'm not sick or anything.
It's not for you. It's for me.
And I will try to find the information about loan shark for you, OK? Khun Kwanjai.
Do you feel better?
Can you pick up my phone?
Joe...
He's not answering.
I will come back soon, OK?
No voice from the front at all. Give me your voice!
What?
What'd you say?
I have some business.
Sit down first! Come on!
What is it?
Kwanjai has been worrying about a problem.
And...
You are her friend. When your friend has some trouble, you must go to take care of her then.
Aren't you her friend?
I am.
But I also have some matter to be worried too. Can you go to take care of her?
So troublesome! Pass off!
What's a matter? Is she in the room?
Joe, shouldn't you change?
- Joe? - What?
What's matter with you? What are you worry about?
How much are you in debt?
A little!
A little.. How much?
Just pay back the credit little by little. It will finish soon.
In this life time I may not be able to pay back.
Worry! Worry! Worry!
Why do you have to worry? Listen to me, Kwanjai. Being in debt means we have a stable income.
Being in debt?
Right.
When you are in debt, you owe people money, right?
And when you will pay back the debt, you must bring your own money to pay back.
Right?
Yes.
So it means that creditor knows that you have money to pay them back so they let you borrow money, right?
You see?
Therefore being in debt means that we have income.
But it is not in the form of money, only in the form of debt. That's all.
That's right! Why didn't I think like that too?
Why do you have to be worried? Only 5,000!
50,000!!!
You are extravagant!
Although we know each other for a long time but about this matter I think you have to handle it on your own.
Joe...
All I said...
♫ Because I am worry about you. We know each other.♫
I sang off key.
Laugh! Laugh!
Oh! You smile...
Actually about making people happy, Joe win takes first place. Because I have never seen him worry about anything.
Now let us summarize the 5 Joh action then.
After passing 2 Johs. The result is Khun Vee has 1 point and Joe caught up to 1 point. Equal now!
The 3rd operation. Third Joh "Know your mind"
If someone will be your boyfriend, he should know your mind. By doing this, you will know who knows you best.
Knowing what you like to eat. What color you like. Is it good?
Questions I asked you to prepare. Did you prepare them already?
Yes
Great! Therefore five, four, three, two...
Sawasdee Ka/Hello and welcome to the program mongrel/crossbred Fan
No! I don't let you play, Kwanjai!
Why not?
Come out!
How can you play? The questions are about you. You are the interrogator. Do you understand?
Post? So have to stick with stamps then. (Kwanjai heart wrongly from Pratsanee=interrogator to Paisanee=Post)
Stick and then send you outside the country then. Are you silly?
Pratsanee means it's your information. They will answer, something like that.
You don't understand it, right! Better go to sit then.
And we will start with the game mongrel/crossbred Fan
I will tell you the question for this week. The question is...
Kwanjai's mongrel/crossbred Fan
If you are ready already. Please give me the question.
Thank you.
And please applaud for sending the team worker back to the podium.
Alright! Although I am a new member but I will try my best for Khun Kwanjai.
Look at him!
That's right!
How he can use the rest of vegetable?
It's not like that. I mean why does he has to be serious?
Just playing.
Let's start with question number...
One.
Khun Kwanjai is half Thai and half what?
If you are ready already. Rise your hand!
American Brahman (cow species)
How is it? I am fast thinking, right?
So fast!!!
American Brahman is cow.
You just want to say, want to answer. I really want to know where is your house. Why don't you know that American Brahman is cow!
Take it easy!
It's my house too.
Alright! Never mind. So Khun Tor is eliminated.
And where is the helper?
Who help? Just help yourself and sit quietly. You have no right to say anything because you are eliminated.
And there are still 3 competitors who didn't answer the question yet. If you are ready, please rise your hand!
I can answer. I can.
Just a moment though.
After analyzing program got some information about Khun Kwanjai.
The data processing is started by using Khun Kwanjai's weight and height...
to substitute with the differentiate of each nations...
Wan!(Eyeglasses man) What are you fancy about? Aren't you too serious? Just answer!
English/British.
The answer is correct.
Khun Vee gets one point.
Oh! His machine is great!
That's right! Don't have to plug in too.
No!
Question number...
Two.
This question, please prepare yourself because we are going to ask that...
The role that Khun Kwanjai would like to act the most. What is it? If you are ready already...
Rise your hand!
I will answer. An intersexual! The most challenge, right? Kwanjai!
Ton Kao! Kwanjai is a woman already. Why does she want to act as an intersexual.
You finish answering.
Now we have the rest of the competitors. If you are ready already...
Who will know? There are thousand of roles.
Although there are thousand of roles. But if we separate the role of women out
the risk will decrease and the probability will be...
Wan!(Eyeglasses man) Separate risk! What is it?
Have you ever watch "Nang 12 /12 Ladies"?
All of them are women. How can you separate then?
That's right. The point goes to Khun Joe.
The role in 12 Ladies is the role that Khun Kwanjai wants the play the most.
Easy!/ Great! We will summarize the score. Now Khun Vee has 1 score and Khun Joe has 1 score. Please applaud!
If someone is lucky, selling chit can be rich too. Right?
We are entering the 4th question.
The question is..
Khun Kwanjai likes which kind of flowers? Answer!
What flowers? What flowers?
What flowers does Khun Kwanjai like?
Rose flowers!
Correct! How do you know?
Here! I guess from Spanish dress that you wore at the party at my room that day.
But it has to be the white roses.
White roses?
White color..
Alright. It is more intense now. Let me summarize the score. Now Khun Vee has 2 scores.
And for Khun Joe still has 1 score. We will give hope for the question number...
Listen carefully! What is the most favorite food of Khun Kwanjai? If you are ready already. Rise your hand!
Pork sweet! (Thai slang means so easy) Sweet pork. That's right. Sweet pork!
Don't be idiot like that. Pork sweet means easy, comfort something like that.
This is the last time, OK? Enough!
Joe receives the right to answer this question.
After knowing her for a long time and ate her foods quite often
Actually this question is very easy. So simple like get it for free.
Even can close my eyes to answer. I will answer then.
Go ahead.
Yum Yum..
Which taste?
Chop pork taste!
For having nutrition value I suggest to add chop pork and vegetables as you want.
Did you take it again?
-What? I bought it!/-Turn over!
Oh! You wrote your name too?
Give me.
Thank you.
Why did you have to write you name too?
All together it is unbelievable that Khun Joe answered correctly and received the score then.
We are now going to ask question number...
Five.
It is the final judgement question. The question is...
Khun Kwanjai.. which side of eyes she has a mole under ?
Rise your hand!
Which side?
Aey! You have mucus stuck at your chin!
Right side!
Right! Right!
It's unbelievable that it's very intense and they answered in the same time.
Please don't worry. Because our program has a teamwork.
Teamwork, please!
After checking from the security camera which I have recorded it
The one who receive the score in this question is...
Khun Vee.
Please applaud for Khun Vee!
Wan! Softly!
Congratulation with you on mongrel/crossbred Fan program today.
Today we will say goodbye by now. Sawatdee Ka!
The 5 Joh operation the 4th Joh is very easy.
The 4th operation. Joh.. Trust
To be in relationship with someone. We have to trust him before that he will not molest..
not take any advantages from us
But this Joh seems to be dangerous. Thida! I won't do it.
Thida! What happened with you?
I am drunk!!!
Drunk and test, right?
Great! Now you are very clever. Good!
This? Green tea pretend to be alcohol. Fake drunk!
You look like a drunk gangster at Laksi Temple. Sit nicely. Do it again!
If you drunk like this which men will rush to you then.
You can't test him. Look!
Let do like this.
Women's tricks has on many hundred carts.
Using only one cart, it should be OK.
Look!
This method we have a trick names "Buem-Suey" /Big-Brush back
Buem-Suey! (Big-Brush back)
Sip and then...
brush back with your hand!
brush back your hair!
Feel spasm?
Seem to be hot!
Use elbow, 1st stage use elbow to push..
Ah...
Oh! Again.. Start doing it again. Have a look, OK? Hand...
Brush back...
Leave the mouth half open a little bit...
Buem/Big...
Suey/Brush back...
Buem/Big...
Suey/Brush back...
Buem/Big...
What are you doing here? It's late night already, Kwanjai.
I'm waiting for Thida.
Oh.
Okay, I'm going to bed now.
Joe...
What?
I can't take it anymore, I'm drunk.
When did you start drinking?
Where is Thida?
I don't know.
You're drunk, I think it is best if I call Thida.
I'll get Thida.
Kwanjai?
Who's money?
I'm gonna borrow this.
Khun Vee?
Hello, sawasdee krap?
Khun Vee? This is Kwanjai.
Kwanjai why is your voice sound strange?
I'm lonely and feeling infatuated.
Khun Kwanjai!
Why are you like this, Kwanjai?
Where did Thida go? Why would she leave Kwanjai alone like this?
Don't know.
Thida, she...
has trouble.
Thida stole my money.
Oh Kwanjai...
Khun Kwanjai?
I'm sorry Kwanjai! I really didn't mean it. I didn't mean it.
Crazy fool.
Khun Ruj! The door was forced open.
What? The door was forced open again?
I can't allow this.
Look! Khun Ruj! They ate products in the shop too.
Khun Ruj must do something, OK?
So many criminals like this I can't take care of this matter alone, Khun Ruj.
Excuse me! Don't you want to suspect each other a little bit.
Aw... Speak like this is challenging, Khun Ruj!
Kao! Will you believe him? Who will steal only a balm?
So thing that was stolen is a balm?
I'm sorry I really did forget.
You forgot me, I don't mind. But you told Khun Vee that I like to steal, I can't stand it.
I am sorry. I really have no idea.
You are just like this.
Before we will go to the last Joh. Let's summary all the scores then.
This 5 Joh operations for choosing someone who we will love has passed already 4 points, right?
According to my record "interesting, knowing your mind" Khun Vee got this.
Comfortable, Joe got it.
Trust... no one passed.
But in fact I didn't expect that Khun Vee will be just as you said.
Really! They said someone who study hard, they are lustful too.
Anyhow after summary it is 2:1/ Khun Vee 2, Joe 1
And how about the last Joh? Thida.
What is it?
This passed 4 Joh, it shows you how do they think about you?, how do they feel about you?and how do they act with you?, right?
But the last Joh is the most important because it's a Joh that only you who can make the decision.
Listen carefully, Kwanjai. The last Joh is "Heart". Whoever will do anything with you...
in the end you must listen to your heart. Who make your heart beat strangely...
at that time you will know by yourself who he is.
Here is money I borrowed you.
Thida! There is another Joh. I am not sure!
I think perhaps he would like you to wait and see for a longer time.
Let's go inside!